


Baby Blue Eyes

by ShadowSocks



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Flashbacks, Flowers, M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:07:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26562607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowSocks/pseuds/ShadowSocks
Summary: Spock takes a stroll through a botanical garden on the Enterprise, and comes across a beautiful flower known as baby blue eyes. He finds they remind him of an old Earth song he heard once, as well as a certain human's own baby blue eyes...(Inspired by the song "Blue Eyes" by Elton John; includes lyrics)
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	Baby Blue Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after the tv show, before the movies.  
> If you haven't heard the song "Blue Eyes", I definitely recommend you check it out.  
> I hope you enjoy reading this!

The doors swish open, and Spock steps into a large room filled to the brim with a grand assortment of flora. Spock has never bothered to visit the _Enterprise_ 's botanical gardens before, a decision he is beginning to regret now. Perhaps it is not so unfortunate after all that the captain ordered him to "take a break". Contrary to popular belief, Vulcans do indeed appreciate beauty, and the scene he sees before him can only be described as beautiful. Thick and sturdy trees are accented by dainty vines and colorful blossoms. The room's lighting replicates a sun's natural illumination in early evening, matching the standard Earth-like schedule of the ship. Soft golden rays bounce and trickle through a canopy of leaves.

Spock strolls down the pathway, taking in the splendor that surrounds him. Strolls, that is, with even, steady steps and strict military posture. Even on break, he is still a Vulcan, and he is still the first officer of the _Enterprise._

A flash of pale blue catches his eye as he walks, and he stops next to a cluster of sky-colored flowers. Spock crouches down to examine the petals more closely. There are five of them on each blossom, paler towards the center and deepening as they reach outwards.

"Gorgeous, aren't they?"

Spock looks up to find Lieutenant Sulu standing next to him.

"They're called baby blue eyes," Sulu tells him, gazing fondly at the plants.

Spock rises to his feet. His eyes continue to fix upon the flowers. Baby blue eyes... "A most fitting name," he comments.

Sulu smiles at him. "Here, why don't you take one?" He reaches down and carefully picks one of the precious plants. Spock accepts it wordlessly, looking distracted. A moment later, he finds himself alone amongst the flora once more, Sulu having wandered off to view the rest of the garden.

Left to his thoughts, Spock gazes at the flower, which feels strangely familiar to him. He lifts the soft blossom to his nose, breathing in its subtle earthy fragrance. His long, slender fingers gently twirl the stem, and the petals dance before his eyes, a kaleidoscope of pale blues, of baby blue eyes. Something stirs in the back of his mind... A memory, of an old Earth song he heard once...

_Blue eyes..._

Ah, yes. He can hear it now; the piano, soft percussion, synthesized background music, and a man's gentle, crooning voice.

_Baby's got blue eyes_

A love song, naturally. Humans seem to spend a great deal of their time thinking of love, and as such, most of their songs and other artistic works are centered around it.

_Like a deep blue sea_

Here we have a classic example of human romanticism, Spock muses. The concept of the ocean is so much more to them than simply a vast collection of water; it is said to symbolize freedom, stability, eternity, violence, unpredictability, a greater force beyond oneself, and, of course, love. How a single, incredibly scientific subject could represent such illogical and contradictory ideas was quite beyond him.

_On a blue, blue day_

Spock recalls Doctor McCoy once describing the sunny Georgia days of his youth with such passion and nostalgia. He has known the doctor to often entertain such romantic notions. Thinking of McCoy's frequent use of colorful metaphors, Spock decides that he would appreciate the figurative lyrics of this song. Indeed, how amusing the doctor would find it if he were to know that Spock is spending his time on such illogical endeavors as smelling flowers and thinking of songs. For some unknown reason, however, he is failing to push the tune out of his mind.

_Blue eyes_

With the return of the vocal melody comes an image of blue eyes, clear and detailed in Spock's imagination, yet quite unintentional. A curious phenomenon; while Spock certainly has an excellent memory, he has always been very effective in controlling it, such visualizations appearing only when they present some purpose or significance.

_Baby's got blue eyes_

Slowly, a pair of arched eyebrows forms above those blue eyes, tired skin beneath; a forehead, framed by fine brown hair; small human ears; a nose; light pink lips; and all the lines that come from frequent smiles, frowns, laughs, and a multitude of othe expressions that Spock couldn't even begin to list. The face of Doctor McCoy. It is only logical, Spock supposes, to be reminded of the highly emotional and blue-eyed doctor when listening to a song about emotions and blue eyes. Yet, he isn't really listening to any music; it is all in his head. Spock frowns.

_When the mornin' comes_

McCoy's face, now, is peering at him over a cup of coffee, blue eyes bleary and the dark bags beneath them more prominent than ever. His shoulders are hunched, and his hands clutch the coffee mug as one would a lifesaver when drowning. His mouth alternates between taking sips of his drink and scowling at Spock, upset at being woken up so early. It was on this day that Spock learned of "morning people", and that the doctor was most certainly not one of them.

_I'll be far away_

Blue; often associated with distance, ice, and the cold, but was it not alse the hue of the hottest fires? McCoy was undoubtedly fiery, in his anger and frustration, but also in his dedication to healing, in his love and compassion for others. Another memory surfaces: Spock is sitting in the captain's chair when suddenly he is whirled around to face the blazing fury in McCoy's eyes, but it is only a moment before they soften into a gentle warmth akin to a flickering candle in a dim room.

_And I say_

Indeed, as fiery as his eyes often are the things McCoy says. The man likes to make himself heard.

"Shut up, Spock! We're rescuing you!"

"Shut up! Shh! _Shhh!_ _"_ Then, having obtained the desired silence: "Well, what do you know? I finally got the last word."

_Blue eyes holdin' back the tears_

As emotional as the doctor is, as emotionally taxing as life in Starfleet could be, Spock has not once seen him shed a tear. Not when he lost a patient; not when he thought his captain, his best friend, was dead; not when he suffered from xenopolycythemia; not when he had to leave the woman he'd fallen in love with on that hollow world to return to the _Enterprise_ ; not even when he was tortured to the brink of death.

_Holdin' back the pain_

Spock's eyelids slide shut as he remembers that day. That crushing sense of helplessness and despair haunts him even now. Even after he'd broken out of the force field, somehow managing to subdue his emotions (if only for a moment), he was still powerless to save the doctor. Battered, beaten, and broken, his skin swollen and dark with bruises, McCoy was inches from death and drawing closer by the second. Spock could only watch in anguish as the fire in those blue eyes slowly dimmed.

_And she's alone_

Though Doctor McCoy did survive that dreadful incident, Spock got a bitter taste of what life might be like without him. Life without McCoy's emotional yet surprisingly thought-provoking outbursts, his unfaltering loyalty and selflessness, his playful insults, his continued friendship despite their frequent disagreements. The prospect of such a life feels empty, cold, lonely...

_Again_

A sinking feeling forms in Spock's gut, and the visions creep back, the visions he's desperately kept at bay for so long: visions of the doctor dying - permanently, this time. There would be no triumphant return with two young ladies clad in bright furs; no miracle cure discovered in the Fibrini's ancient memory banks; no sudden acts of mercy from his torturers; only death, in all its horrifying finality.

It is illogical, perhaps, to dwell on a product of nothing more than worry and imagination. Yet it is also illogical to assume that Doctor McCoy's existence will not soon end, when he knows quite well that every day that passes by could be his last. This is always true, but even more so when one faces the daily perils on board the _Enterprise._ Every conversation, every argument, every word, every smirk, every sly look he shares with the doctor could very well be the final. A curious aching sensation grasps Spock's chest, and he is overwhelmed by vivid memories once more.

_Blue eyes_

Fleeting, sideways glances; nothing more than a flash of blue flame, a tiny jolt of electricity, gone as quickly as it came. Bright, dancing eyes, teasing him, tempting him. Deep, pensive eyes, lost in thought. Warm, friendly eyes, filled with a gentle glow of compassion. Thousands of small moments emerge from the depths of Spock's mind, moments he clung to throughout the years without even realizing.

_Baby's got blue eyes_

A lifetime of suppressing emotion, of completely devoting himself to logic, is evidently insufficient to resist those dazzling eyes. The neat and orderly boxes that Spock places his feelings into seem to be spilling open, unleashing a torrent of wild emotions. Much like the human legend of Pandora's box, it appears impossible to contain them once fully released. It is his own fault, perhaps, for not dismissing them more efficiently, for not sealing them up more quickly and more tightly. He has, for quite some time, been far too careless.

_Like a clear blue sky_

Many times, Spock has very nearly lost all control over his feelings. So often he has let too much show. He recalls an incident now that he had hidden in the corners of his mind in shame. He and the doctor were trapped in a cell. Jim had been taken, and McCoy had almost been killed during a fight with a gladiator. Spock was unreasonably upset, and attempted to mask his frustration by doggedly searching for a means of escape that likely did not exist. The doctor, of course, was not fooled. The resulting confrontation ended with a distressingly suggestive reply from Spock. He was saved only by McCoy's astonishing capacity for misinterpretation.

_Watching over me_

Possibly the first time Spock became aware of his deeper feelings for Doctor McCoy was when he temporarily lost his sight. Upon regaining it, he was immediately greeted by those stunningly blue eyes that for some reason he had missed above anything else during his blindness. The instant flood of emotion was shockingly strong, catching Spock off guard and leading to a completely illogical confession of fondness for McCoy, in front of the entire bridge crew no less. Lieutenant Uhura's knowing smile should have said it all, but somehow the doctor remained stubbornly oblivious.

_Blue eyes_

Indeed, that was in all probability the first time his feelings emerged from his subconsciousness into something more tangible. Spock's current feelings, however, are even stronger than they were that day. For what reason did they evolve further?

A thousand images flash before him once again, too fast to fully analyze any of them - a thousand pairs of blue eyes, the same and yet all unique, each a fragment of the infinite mystery that is Doctor McCoy. Slowly, they dissolve into a single memory - a smile. A smile, a glorious, bright, blue-eyed smile. A smile with so much joy that it cannot be contained in one mouth, in two eyes; it spreads to everyone who sees. This smile, and two gleeful words.

"Teddy bear?"

Even now, Spock is amazed at the amount of happiness McCoy can find in such simple things. Possibly more amazing is how infectious that happiness is, how one smile can make Spock feel so wonderful.

_Ooh, I love blue eyes_

Love.

All at once, Spock is hit by a realization. There is only one explanation for this phenomenon. The flowers, the song, the memories, the emotions... He is in love. He is truly, deeply in love with Doctor McCoy.

Spock's eyelids fly open, and he is abruptly brought back to the real world. The botanical garden, now darker as the evening ages. The flower. Baby blue eyes.

_When I'm by her side_

Suddenly, Spock is overwhelmed by a desire to see that smile again. Irrationally, he feels that if only he can see McCoy smile one more time, everything will be alright.

_Where I long to be_

With a sense of urgency and a surge of adrenaline, Spock turns and walks out of the botanical garden. His feet seem to move on their own, sending him down the hallway and into the turbolift. A few moments later, he steps out onto Deck 9.

_I will see_

He hurries down the hallway, his legs moving almost as fast as his racing mind. He ignores the startled crewmen leaping out of his way. His thoughts have room for only one person.

_Blue eyes laughin' in the sun_

Spock loses himself in another memory of McCoy. This time, the doctor was expressing his anticipation for non-replicated food.

"Doctor, you are a sensualist," Spock told him.

"You bet your pointed ears I am!" came the playful response, accompanied by an endearing grin.

_Blue eyes laughin' in the rain_

Spock is no stranger to Doctor McCoy's good-natured insults. Once, though, the doctor's offense was accidental. He even made a weak attempt at an apology.

"Spock, I mean that it's odd for a non-Vulcan," he said, with a sheepish and bafflingly adorable smile. "The ears make all the difference."

Spock tried to maintain his air of disapproval, but a notable amount of warmth seeped into his reply nonetheless. "I find your argument strewn with gaping defects in logic."

_Baby's got blue eyes_

Spock comes to a halt in front of the door to McCoy's quarters. Looking down at the flower in his hand, he squashes his illogical nervousness and presses the door whistle.

The familiar Southern voice pipes through the speaker. "Come on in."

The doors open and Spock steps into the room.

_And I am home_

There, right in front of him, is Doctor McCoy and his blue eyes. The lights are slightly dimmed, reflecting the late hour, but Spock can see McCoy in perfect detail. His expression is soft and relaxed. He has most likely been enjoying an evening of reading, as an old paper book lies open on the table. Another one of his charming idiosyncrasies is his old-fashioned preference for physical books, despite the inefficiency compared to digital reading. The doctor's blue uniform shirt has been removed, and he stands casually in his black undershirt, one hand resting in the pocket of his trousers. Spock has found that the color of the medical uniform is quite complementary to McCoy's blue eyes, but now it is clear that his eyes retain their splendor when paired with any other color.

"What can I do for ya, Spock?"

_And I am home again_

Without answering, Spock slowly approaches, drawn closer by those enticingly blue eyes. He stops a short distance away and lifts the flower in his hand up to the doctor's face.

"What's this?" McCoy asks, his eyebrows lifting at the unexpected behavior.

Spock pauses a moment, glancing between the petals and the eyes beside them, analyzing. Finally, his gaze settles on McCoy.

"Baby blue eyes," he says simply.

_Blue eyes laughin' in the sun_

Those baby blue eyes watch him quietly, searching. As the silence stretches on, Spock grows anxious. But then, somewhere in those blue depths, he sees a twinkle understanding. The skin at the edges of McCoy's eyes start to crinkle. Spock's breath catches in his throat.

_Blue eyes laughin' in the rain_

McCoy tilts his head and his lips curve into a soft, sweet, gentle smile. It is instantly familiar and, at the same time, entirely mysterious and new. Spock can't seem to blink for fear of missing even the tiniest fraction of a second of this smile. He is entranced by baby blue eyes.

Tentatively, his fingers stretch the flower's stem a little further and tuck it behind the doctor's small, rounded ears. He releases it and lets his fingertips trail down the side of McCoy's face, gently, tenderly, finally resting on his jawline.

_And I am home_

McCoy leans forward, sneaking a hand behind Spock's neck, pulling him closer. There is a brief moment of hesitation as Spock takes in the intense blue of those eyes drawing nearer. Then his eyelids slide shut and their lips meet. It is a soft and warm and passionate kiss, enveloping him in a sense of peace and happiness. All of his fear melts away, and there is only eyes and lips and the knowledge that he will never again be truly alone.

_Again_

For the first time in his life, Spock has found where he belongs: forever lost in baby blue eyes.


End file.
